Re:Affliction for Love
by RyuZu
Summary: Natsuki Subaru has done horrible things. No one understood him but he had reason. Now he has paid the price for his horrid deeds, he's dead. Or so he thought. He has somehow returned to the place it all began and here he sees a sight he did not want to see. A scene where Emilia was thanking him?
1. Cruel Truth

His plan was finally coming to fruition. The flames are eating away on the capital of Lugnica, no its eating the entire country. The screams of the people are heard from every direction. Funny, he wonders if this despair is as strong as the one he has felt. However, he will no longer think of such things for much longer.

Natsuki Subaru, the man who caused this fire, the one who has filled his hands with so much blood, so much sadness, so much despair. He is finally dying. The hero who has succeeded in such a deed was not Reinhardt but the silver haired half-elf, Emilia. His beloved, his sole reason he had done what he has.

"Why?" Is all that she can ask.

Her tears dripped on his blood soaked face. He was lying on her lap after her icicle spear pierced through his chest. Her lap was probably the only reward he has obtained.

"Why? Why? Why?"

Why? It was such a short word,a short question, but he had so many answers for it. He wanted to answer her, to lessen her confusion. To spend time with her as selfish as it tell her, Natsuki Subaru was not just a madman but he had not much time left. He would not leave without answering, however. Then, with a smile more genuine than Emilia had ever seen the boy answers her.

"...because I love you."

His vision was fading with her face looking so much more confused. He stared until it went black. Death's loving embrace swallows him one last time.

* * *

His eyes opened. They opened to see nothing, nothing at all. He knows this feeling. He has returned to the dark abyss. An eternal darkness that contains nothing but at the same time contains everything. He turned his head to see her. His memories had all returned, tears in his eyes, he got up and ran toward her. He was so happy, everything he had done was for her. Whether he died or lived, it was all for her. He loved her so much and now he can live with her for all eternity, what a joyous end.

"Satella! Satella! *hic* Satella! I-I *sniff*"

He was crying his heart out on her chest. The tightness of his hug only continued to grow tighter. For so long he had been running and now he had finally caught up to her. Satella did not stop him and instead pet his soft hair ever so gently. She had always known him as a crybaby. Though, she didn't dislike it.

"You really did your best, didn't you." She sympathized with him so affectionately.

He did not answer and continued to cry as he sought comfort from her. He did everything he could, he had no other option. He could not think of another option. He did the right thing. Now, it was over, he will now live with his beloved forever. Or, so he thought.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"Eh? F-for what?" He asked freightened.

"I'm so sorry, Subaru."

He felt something grip onto his ankle. He looked and saw an...unseen hand.

"Why?"

Everything was supposed to be over. He was satisfied with the way things had ended. There was nothing else he could've done. He completed his goal, didn't he?

"Satella, you don't want me to be here? With you?"

His depressed expression caused so much pain in her heart. That was not the case at all. She could not answer him in time as the unseen hands started to drag him. He was utterly mortified, was their love all a lie? Was it always one sided. He was in doubt until...

"Subaru! iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou-"

She repeated those words and completely cleared the doubt.

"Yeah, I love you too!-"

He also started to repeat the words 'I love you' to her.

He turned to see light. Never in his life had he been so afraid of light. The unseen hands were forcibly dragging him in there. There was so much he wanted to do with Satella. He wanted to talk to her, he wanted to feel her soft skin again, He wanted to kiss her and make sure it never ended. But mostly, he had just wanted to make her happy. However, he wasn't allowed to, yet. Finally, in an instant she disappeared from his eyes.

* * *

It was bright but not too bright. The sun was close to sleeping. It was about to turn looked around to see that everything was normal. The town was not in flames. There wasn't any screams of agony. It was just another day.

"Where am I? No, when is this?"

He didn't respawn in his previous checkpoint. It was different. Was he in the past, where he first started. When the thought occurred to him, he panicked because of what time it was. If he really was in the past then Emilia was in danger.

"Emilia!"

He quickly began to sprint. He knew where she was and was running as fast as he could there. Elsa was going to steal her life again.

He reached the slums quickly. With all the times he's been here, he knew exactly what was the shortest path to Rom's shop. Then out of nowhere, a huge beam of light erupted from the direction he was headed. He was afraid, with the time he had respawned he was afraid that he would not be able to save her this time. Yet he was still so far away.

By the time he made it the store was in pieces. Had he come too late? However, he heard a voice. The voice of the man he hated so very much. A man who had everything while he had nothing. He peeked in to see what was going on inside. There he saw Reinhardt and Emilia, who was alive and well. He let out a sigh of relief. There was also one more person, though. He wore a jersey and had black spiky slicked back hair. He looked like he finished saying something that was directed at Emilia.

"Its Emilia. Just Emilia. Thank you Subaru, for saving me." She said.

She said his name. She thanked Subaru. It was then he realized that the person in the jersey was none other than, Natsuki Subaru. To think there was another option. He grew angry and directed that towards the 'fake Subaru.' Why did he have to suffer? Why couldn't he have reached this outcome? He could just tell that the fake Subaru didn't die as many times he did. He wanted the fake to suffer even more than he had. Of course he would make sure Emilia would win the Royal Selection. But if he saw a chance to hurt the fake then he would make it happen. After all, there can't be two.

"Ill make sure to break you, you fake."


	2. Debt

I still remember it. It had happened not too long ago, after all. No excuse me, it had actually never happened.

"This will be the last chance for it. I had fun. It was wonderful."

"Elsa! I..."

"Farewell."

Just like her. Her goodbye happened so smoothly without considering my an animalistic dexterity, she leaps toward Reinhardt. The hero and the butcher engaged in furious combat.

In the end, it was a futile battle. I had witnessed Elsa Granhiert's last blood meal.

I was never going to see her again. Yet here she is, alive and well a bit injured. What would this feeling be called again? Oh right, happiness.

She showed me hostility. I don't blame her, a fake using my face and name had humiliated her. However he did get some repercussions, though he did not die. I would usually praise her and tell she had done good but that was in my timeline. Here, I'm sure she would think I'm pitying her.

"-Why could you be helping me? A little earlier you were against me."

"That fake wasn't me. He's someone I hate just as much as you do. I want him suffer a painfully cruel death. But hey, you don't need to trust me. If you're fine with being surrounded by guards and losing all possible chance of revenge, just kill me and run away."

I had said almost the exact same thing he had said to her before. One of the perks of dying so much had not only made me immune to fear but also helped me remember everything. I know what works, what doesn't.

Elsa is covered in blood, her black outfit torn in places and her white skin exposed. That said, her flesh is coated with horrible wounds which leaves me no room to feel the slightest bit bashful. I had no sexual interest in Elsa before. It was different now, my mind keeps straying to the moment she sacrificed herself for me. At the time I just thought she could be useful, and wanted to capitalize on the opportunity. But now, I let my guard down and had grown attached to her. Love? I doubt it, my heart belongs to Emilia. However, if given the chance I wouldn't mind giving her what she wants. She deserved at least that much.

"Those guards' eyes're bloodshot looking for you. I misdirected them somewhere else. It'll take a while before they notice us. How are your wounds?"

"Hurt very much. Very, very much, I could die. Huhu, its wonderful."

"That's a sentiment I don't understand. Gonna be a problem if you die on me early."

I feel no risk. I may have put myself in danger just to save Elsa but its fine, I've done this before with no problem. Although somehow I feel that even if I am killed here and Return By Death, Emilia will be alive. It must be set in stone that she doesn't die here.

"Can you make a path to the southeastern section of the slums? I'll be able to reunite with my younger sister if you do. She'll treat my wounds and prepare an escape route."

"Your sister, huh..."

Meili, yet another one who is gone from the world I came from. No, there's no point in feeling remorse. She's alive and well here, its fine now. Using the holy golden coins in Elsa's possession, I bribe residents of the slums to interfere with the guards' search and lead them on an incorrect course. No problems, its just like before.

"What I dont understand is your goal in this."

"Just want to put you in my debt. I know you'll definitely be useful to me someday."

"A debt. How strange.—When you are so eager to kill me."

I'm surprised to hear that from her. I had killed her once already, though I thought I lost that look. I'm guessing that witnessing her try and kill Emilia again, reignited those feelings even if I wasn't aware of them.

Though this is perfect, I'm sure this is the moment as to why she wouldn't break her loyalty towards me. Not to brag but I've become quite the actor. Recreating the look I had at this time before is child's play. Im sure she can see that she was 'correct' just by looking into my dark eyes.

In these moments I must exploit everything I know.

"I do want to kill you. And I will kill you one day. But not now."

"I see."

It's not even worth hiding. I reveal my 'true' feelings to Elsa. If Elsa were someone more prudent, she would kill me right here to quell some future anxieties. But I know she wont do that. It's a blood-soaked confidence, I know through more than eighty deaths to Elsa. Its also due to the fact that I've experienced this before. However, there is one more factor that plays into this.

"Wonderful. You and I are bound by loathing. One day, yes. You will prove yourself right. And it's very, very lovely."

Elsa's bloodsoaked lips relax, smiling like a girl with a crush. With her smile right beside me, from the very depths of my heart, I find it attractive. I don't see it as repulsive this time.

That factor is her love for me. I am aware that I somehow seduced her. I don't feel bad, after all it may be the reason she devoted herself to me so I can trust her.

I can't help but think back to the question I asked myself before. Love? Can I consider myself in love with Elsa? Elsa of all people? Doesn't my heart belong to Emilia. Heh, what am I even thinking about? I've already sinned so much, there's no consequences in adding more. Hell I might as well seduce even more woman, out of love or not. I'm sure seducing some of the candidates will be useful. Wait, wouldn't it be hilarious if I took some of the girls that fake is interested in. Oh how I wonder what that look of pain and betrayal will be like.

* * *

"Let us meet again, yes?"

"See you, mister. Thanks for helping Elsa."

Meili takes charge of Elsa. I let out a sigh of tiredness. Despite her appearance, Meili knows how to tend to Elsa's wounds in a practical manner. They promptly complete arrangements for them to flee the capital, and speedily vacate the shack.

Like last time, I barely secure my payment, which is a way to contact Elsa. And thus she leaves my side, for now.

"With this, I'm sure some of my debt to you is payed. Wait a little longer and I'll repay it in full soon. Elsa."

At this point there's no reason to do what I did before. I know that when that fake wakes up, he'll be next to Emilia. I can't accept that. He doesn't deserve her, not that I'm one to talk. In any case, my main goal at the the moment is to make the fake suffer. Which means, my next destination is Emilia's mansion.

"See you soon, fake. I can barely contain myself just thinking about all those emotions I plan on making you feel!"

With my commitment yelled into the sky, the capital falls asleep while listening to my maniacal laughter.


	3. A Disgusting Act

The Next Day

An act. I need an act. Not just any kind of act, I need one that they'll believe. I can't just enter with my horrid personality. I also can't just act like the way I was on my first days. What makes things harder is that fake. I don't know what he is but if he acts how I was when I first came then with his otaku mentality he'll conclude that I'm an enemy. That was usually the case with a twin to the protagonist. I can't have that, yet.

The only thing that I can think of that can work is a memory loss character. It isn't very trustworthy but they won't exactly doubt you. As to what ill use to explain our similar appearance, ill go safe and easy, a twin sibling. Knowing how I was naive and stupid when I was summoned, the fake will believe it. Finally ill improvise my personality based on the word, considerate.

I've got most of it covered, now on to one last problem. I'm standing in front of the gate, but how do I get in. Its locked and I can't exactly climb it. First impressions are important for an infiltration.

"Dear guest, what are you doing out there. Just a moment ago you were with Emilia-sama."

A chance! Thus this show begins.

"Guest! Did you say I was with someone."

I grabbed the gate, to which it made a loud clang. She was startled, yet a bit hostile. She seemed to be a maid for the mansion judging by her outfit. She was short and had blue hair that covered one of her eyes.

"Dear guest, what are you saying? I don't quite understand."

She's annoying. She speaks in monotone, no emotion to be found. Though, just from looking at her, I've already figured out what can break her. I can see it in her eyes, she is trapped in her past. She wants to atone for something. How pitiful.

"Please let me in. If its what I'm thinking then he's in there isn't he!"

"Dear guest-"

"Rem is there a problem."

A new voice joins us. She looked exactly like the blue one but mirrored and was instead pink. They were twins. There was no problem with me being the twin to the fake, I mean the world is big.

"Nee-sama it seems that the dear guest has gone crazy."

"What, dear guest, was waking up to two cute girls too much for your puny brain to handle. I guess it must have fried your brain, well its understandable you look like a virgin after all."

The pink one sure has a mouth. The fake is a guest right? Why is she talking to someone she just met like trash? She's lucky I'm forced to act.

"I really need to get in. You can call me virgin all you like but please let me in. I have to see him!"

I'm sure she can see my 'determination' so getting in is simple. And sure enough she opens the gate.

"Thank you"

"Welcome back, Master Roswall."

Eh?

I look and see a carriage. A tall clown looking man had come out of it. It was Roswall. I had forgotten that this mansion belonged to him, not Emilia. I don't care too much about him though, he's just a sacrifice to my plans.

"Oh, it seems we have a visitor."

"Yes Roswall-sama, this is the man who saved Emilia-sama's life."

How disgusting. The pink one is completely devoted to the clown. Im surprised she isn't a complete slave. Her sister must be a reason for that.

"No, I didn't. If you say someone who looks like me saved your friend then the person your talking about is my brother."

"Brother?"

The twins said in sync and looked at each other while tilting their heads. I glance at the clown and noticed a brief shocked expression. I can barely hear him mutter something about a gospel.

"I think we will~ figure things out once we enter. Lets go shall~ we."

"Yes, Roswall-sama."

They say in sync again. If that's a habit of theirs then its annoying. Nonetheless, infiltration complete.

* * *

I was escorted to a dining room. The table was set with dining neccessities and was only missing the actual food. In this room however, I was alone with the clown.

"How is it~? Are you comfortable?"

"Yes. The chair is very nice to sit on."

When was the last time I sat down on something soft? Didn't I rest on Elsa's lap once? No no, I'm devoted to Emilia. I'm just confused on love and gratitude. Elsa is just a nice tool to have.

"You seem restless."

"Well if you finally found your brother after so long of course you'll be restless."

"Being reunited with your brother must make you very~ happy."

"Yeah, really happy."

Disguting.

"I see~. Don't worry, soon~ enough you'll see him. Rem is a very good servant who can work quickly."

"Rem, is the blue one right?"

"That is correct~."

As far as I can tell, between the blue one and the pink one, the pink seems much more useful. It seems that the blue one will do anything her sister will ask of her. So if I can somehow get her to lose the devotion she has for the clown and take her then ill also get the blue one. Thus the amount of allies the fake has will diminish.

"Um, Roswall-san. How long do we have to wait?"

"Thank you for your patience."

It was the blue one, Rem. She seems to be overly cautious of me. But just as Roswall said she works quickly. She placed food for each plate. Though I noticed a glare towards me when she put my share. Afterwards she stood next to the clown.

"Wow, it looks and smells great! You must put lots of love into making it."

"No, its only to be expected of a maid."

I smile towards her.

"Your older sister, Ram, must be so proud to have a little sister like you."

I saw a twitch. I'm sure she must have felt a slight happiness. Though I saw some guilt. Its easy to push her buttons. I said something she would want to hear. Its really simple, the human mind that is. Though, there's a chance she's not human.

"Roswall-sama, I have brought the real dear guest."

I look and see the pink one, Ram. Behind her were two people standing next to each other. The fake and Emilia. To think I'm so close to her this early on. Ah, she's so breathtaking. I want to get even closer. No, not yet. Stick to the act.

"Nii-saaan!"

Disgusting.

I purposefully charge in to him with full force in hopes that I hurt it. Just pretending to be this things brother is disgusting.

"Uagh! What?!"

I heard his voice. Its exactly like mine.

"I missed you so much nii-san!"

Disgusting. Disgusting.

"Oi, what's going on!?"

I rub my cheek against his. I don't understand sibling affection but this otaku must picture something like this. Though, its disgusting what I'm doing to it.

"Nii-San! Nii-san! I missed you so much! Where have you been?!"

"Oi! Cal-Calm down!"

I can feel the others stare at us. This scene may have been touching if I were a girl. However, I'm a boy. They stare at us feeling creeped out.

"Nii-San."

I grab its face with both my hands and force him to look at me. His eyes widened in shock, it must have realized we look the same. Now that I'm close to it, I can see that the face is the exact same as mine. Its picture perfect, except his eyes showed something that mine could no longer show. Purity.

"Who are you..."

I show him a hurt expression and quickly get off him. Just as I predicted, he sees me as an enemy due to his otaku logic.

"Ah! Sorry, sorry! I got too excited and forgot about your condition. Of course you wouldn't remember, that's just hopeful thinking."

Everyone in the room took notice of my wording. Just as planned I got them curious after the word 'wouldnt remember.' I found one to be extremely interested.

"My~. Would you be ever so kind~ to tell us what you mean~."

I simply nodded and sat to where I was previously sitting. I didn't bother to help it up, but that was a mistake.

"Are you ok? Subaru."

"Y-yeah. Thank you, Emilia-tan."

Emilia's voice. Its so beautiful, its music to my ears. It would almost be hypnotic if it wasn't for that fake. Its holding her hand. Be grateful I'm in an act or you'd be dead where you stand. The fake turns to me, smiles, and gives me a thumbs up. 'Thanks bro', is what I feel coming off him. I merely return the thumbs up and smile. Unknown to everyone, behind the smile I'm grinding my teeth in frustration.

"I'm glad. The food Rem's prepared is getting cold, lets hurry and eat."

"Yes, ma'am"

Ram went and stood on the other side of Roswall. I sat close to Roswall. Then, luck graced me.

Emilia is sitting next to me. Although it pisses me off that the fake is on the other side. The fact of the matter is, I'm so close to her. Oh no, what do I do, she smells way too nice. I want to touch her. Oh no, what do I do? Is she really fine, sitting next to me? I'm so happy I could die. I would die just to repeat this moment.

"Is something wrong?"

Ah, she caught me watching her eat. No, no, I'm so embarrassed. Its not my fault you look cute eating.

"No, its nothing. Sorry for staring."

"Its fine, I'm not mad."

Ah, I love her.

I then found out that there was one extra person. She was loli girl with drill twin-tails. She's playing with Emilia's spirit, Puck. Now that I think about she might've been here when it was just me and Roswall. The fake must have also interacted with her. I didn't notice because I was entranced by Emilia.

* * *

When everyone finished their meal, Roswall explained many things that I already know. Such as, Emilia being a candidate for king. Nonetheless, everything he said was completely pointless to me. However, it was useful to the fake. Then, Roswall had granted him one desire. The fake wanted to be employed at this mansion. Was I really such an idiot before? Emilia told him something about desiring too little. At this point everything that's going on is just so useless to me. Except Emilia and also my 'tools' ...I guess.

"Now onto you. To put it bluntly~, who are you."

Oh, after all their pointless chatter, is it time for my act again. The curious clown seems to be very interested in this situation, is it because of a gospel you carelessly muttered.

"Nii-sans, little brother?"

I replied to him while tilting my head.

"Um, he wanted your name. I can see how you misunderstood."

Ah, Emilia talked to me!

"Name? I don't remember."

I showed a sad expression.

"You don't remember?"

"Yeah, all I remember is my older brother and that I have to find him. Its some kind of condition."

"Do you know what caused it?"

"No, but I do know that my brother got the worse of it. He lost almost all his memories. All he knows is his name and mom and dads but he forgot me."

Emilia looked at the fake with sad expression.

"Subaru...you poor thing."

"Oh...y-yeah."

Heh. Its not going to take back any of my claims. Its still new to this world and it doesn't know why or how it was summoned. There's a high chance that it'll think that he took someone's body in this world. Its that naive, after all.

"But I'm fine because just by seeing him I can tell its going to be alright."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because nii-San is still nii-San."

Emilia shows me a warm smile. To think she would smile towards me, me of all people. I'm incredibly happy. Though, once I become the 'villain' that'll change. If she knew of the things I have done, there's no doubt she'd hate me to the very core. But, for now, I will treasure the moments where I am not her enemy.

"You must really love him."

"Of course!"

No Emilia, I hate it. You have no idea how much I hate it. I love you. I will always love you. Though I'm having trouble understanding what I love because of my 'tool.'

"That's why, ill repay my debt to you Emilia-San. I'll work at this mansion for free."

"Eh?! No you don't have to do something like that! Your brother saved my life so I would feel bad if you worked for free."

"Yeah, but that was my brother not me. I owe you and Roswall for finding him and letting him rest in this mansion."

"Emilia-tan, if your dealing with someone with my blood. Then they'll be stubborn about something they want to do. So just let him do what he wants."

"But-"

"Thank you, nii-san!"

You dumb fool. What do you think your doing helping an enemy? I can't believe he bought such a claim. No nevermind, its easy believe it, its very naive after all.

"Roswall, if you may allow me. May I work here as well. Of course, my service will be free."

"Well I see no reason~ to refuse. I will allow it~."

"Thank you!"

"Welcome aboard, um- little brother? Oh, that's right we don't have a name for you. That's a problem, you can't go walking around nameless."

Don't touch me so casually, fake. I have a name and its Natsuki Subaru. You stole it from me you disgusting fake.

"Is there anything you'd like to call me. I'm okay with anything."

"Oh then how about-"

"No."

"Immediate rejection! Didn't you say you were okay with anything!"

"Well I get the feeling that you have weird naming sense, nii-san."

Besides I don't want a name from a fake like you. Its also because I want my name to come from Emilia. Though I can hear the pink twin muttering Virgin.

"Do you have anything for me, Emilia-San."

I show her puppy dog eyes to make sure I get something.

"T-then how about, Subaru 2?"

"What is he a robot!?"

"What's a robot?"

Ah, Subaru 2, what is with that. That is way too cute!

"How about Alter?"

My glee ended abruptly. I might've misheard.

"Puck?"

"I don't think he'd like tha- actually he loves it so much that you can see stars in his eyes!"

The spirit named me Alter. This is no coincidence he caught on to something. Alter means different, that is no coincidence.

"Then from now on call me, Natsuki Alter."

I'm going to keep closer eye to this spirit. Though, infiltration of the Roswall manor is complete. Enjoy this life as long as you can fake. The suffering I want you to feel may finally come.


	4. Life as a Butler

After our meal the pink twin made haste with the first steps to help the fake and I become proper butlers.

"Well then, shall we go Barusu, Virgin."

Why couldn't we have gone with the blue one. She's so annoying. It takes effort to try and not cut your harsh tongue.

"These are your uniforms. We can't have you working while dressed so shabbily, after all."

"O.. ok."

She hands us the uniforms. This won't fit me. Its too large. Though she came up with a clever nickname for the fake, its hard not to laugh.

"This area is the servants quarters'. You can choose whichever room you like for your own personal use. You'll also be changing your clothes there, Virgin, Barusu."

"What's with that? Don't change my name into a curse word Ram-neesama."

"I don't know what you mean, but calling you Barusu should be enough. More importantly since we have things to do after this, please change quickly."

"Hey, hey... Well to minimize any iconvenience, ill choose this door for now."

It chose the nearest door. When it opened the door we were treated to a blond drill loli happily playing with puck, the flying cat.

"Nii-cha is lovely. You're of the best pedigree.❤"

The two looked at it with surprise and troubledness.

"...Yo."

It showed a goofy smile and gave a thumbs up. She immediately starting using magic against the fake, presumably out of embarrassment. I let out a sigh, ill have to block out more pointless dialogue useless to me. Being forced to act considerate is such a hassle. Oh crap, considerate people don't sigh it looks like the pink one took notice.

"What..."

"Nothing, Virgin."

Another mistake, I let out a bit of my crude nature.

After the fake's pointless chatter about the loli protecting some library for the clown. He was thrown immediately out of the library. The pink one made a comment and then the fake went into the room to change.

"I would suggest you change as well, Virgin. We do have things to do after this."

"Virgin isn't a very clever Smutbag Pig."

"Did you say something?"

"Nothing really. Anyway Ram, this uniform is too large. It needs to be adjusted."

"You haven't even tried it on yet, Virgin."

"You know, I just recently just got renamed. I'd prefer it if you called me that instead of Virgin. Besides I doubt you'd even lost your's yet"

"What-"

"Oh wait I understand now, nee-sama to think you were that type of girl."

I back away from her.

"Too bad nee-sama. I won't give mine to you, ill remain pure for my future love."

"I don't know what kind of idea you came up with-"

The door opened and out came a fake who's clothes were in fact too large.

"Listen to this nii-san! Ram-neesama is a Virgin predator."

"H-huh?"

"You should of heard the things she said to me when you were in there. She said the reason she calls me Virgin is to please her own fetishes. She told me that after her work was over she was going to 'eat at me up'."

"R-really!?"

"Yeah, I was scared for my purity."

"I can't really deny it, she does call me 'balls' after all. S-so it was because of your fetish."

"Alter, may you explain why you made such a lie."

My 'brother' cowards in fear with the gaze she's showing. I'm used to something like this though.

"You finally said my name. Thank you cutt- lil' one."

I seemed to have irked her. It seems she doesnt like to be teased.

"May I ask what you were going to say before that, Alter."

Oh, how scary. What a scary aura.

"Nothing at all! Its all in the past lil' one. Lets hug it out."

I hug her. I just want to piss her off, its really fun.

"You realize this is sexual harassment don't you, Alter."

"Oh relax, I'm not interested in you. Besides, real women have curves. A cutting board wouldn't interest me."

The fake let out a little laugh.

"Is something funny Barusu"

"Nothing! Nothing at all nee-sama!"

* * *

Like I told the pink one, the suit was indeed too big. In response she called for her sister, who had responded to her call quickly. This further proves that the blue one does want to atone for something. Most likely involving her older sister. However, my focus is still not them.

In any case, I have left the fake to the care of the blue one. She is taking his measurements and due to us being 'twins', only one of us would need to do it. I am being given tour of the mansion by the pink one at the moment.

"Alter, is your tiny brain understanding the high level vocabulary I am using."

"I know I said that I have amnesia, but you don't have to treat me like a kid! I obviously kept my common sense!"

"No need to yell. I can understand you from your indoor voice. I was coping with your amnesia after all."

"...Coping?"

"Oh my, is that word too sophisticated for you."

"I know what coping means!"

Man, why do I have to deal with the most annoying of the two. Still, this mansion has so many rooms. Yet most of them are empty. It feels so lonely, I wonder if she's happy here.

The tour was coming to a close and we are on our way to regroup with the blue one and the fake. The suits should be ready, and then my work as a butler should start.

"You are very fortunate."

Huh? Something came out of her mouth and it wasn't an insult.

"What?"

"You, who have no memories just somehow stumbled across your brother. That was very fortunate for you."

Oh. Did she catch on to something?

"However, upon finding him, he does not have any memories of you. Yet you two get along just fine, it looks as if you were never separated. In just the few minutes of watching, it feels as though you two have shared so many memories and formed a strong bond."

I'm not sure if she caught on to a loophole or if she actually thinks that. Though even if she has caught on to something, it seems that ill drag down the fake with me.

"...I'm quite envious..."

Envious? I don't think she should feel envious of the situation the fake and I have. Besides, even if the blue one is becoming a doll that does whatever she wants, her sister will always love her. You're being given love and respect without even doing anything. I don't see any sort of problem with it. The pink one the master and the blue one the servant. Nothing wrong with that.

"Hmmhmm~, it seems cutting board admitted she's inferior to me."

She looks at me confused.

What? Did you think I would give you advice? Comfort you? Fuck no. I can't deal with something so pointless, especially when I have a special power that lets me 'fix' things to the way I want them.

"Look at me, I have lady luck on my side. I found my brother, and got a job at a mansion to which I get to live in for free! I don't need money, you people are giving me my necessities."

She looks disappointed but not surprised. It looks like from the beginning they were wary of me. Perhaps, the fake as well.

"We haven't known each other for a day, yet here you are trying to seek comfort from a stranger. That won't do anything, I'm not going to tell you what I think could fix your problems. Me, of all people is not allowed to. I have amnesia, I would be no help to you but..."

We stop walking. ...Ah, how badly I wish I could play a hero... Just once... Just once, I want to try it...again...

"...I have the power to say that it will get better eventually, just not now. You just need a lot of patience and...a strong mentality. I'm an amnesiac who until just recently got a new name. Think about it, before this I was wandering anywhere and everywhere not knowing who I am, where I came from, where I belonged. The only thing that kept me going was my 'brother' who I just needed to find. And I did."

I don't count this as comforting or advice just simple fake plot to help this character I am playing. This is entirely to benefit me.

"You sure went on with such a boring pointless rant. Oh, Why, did I try to consult a stranger with a personal problem."

She turns and starts walking to try and hide her expression.

"Maybe, nee-sama is just idiotic."

"Maybe. Though not as idiotic as the one who made us a few minutes late. By the way once we meet with Rem and Barusu you will get to experience my special tour again."

I sigh.

"What a reward."

* * *

I can't believe she really made me walk all over the mansion again! The nerve of her.

"Slacking off on the job already, Alter."

"Well, my senpai made me walk around the whole mansion not just once but twice. I mean I don't get paid either way so I'm just watching my health."

The work she gave to both of us was maintenance of the front yard and the garden, plus checking out the surroundings. All of which is being done single handedly by the fake.

"I'd appreciate some help, Alter!"

"Fight on! Nii-san!"

* * *

After completing the task we move on to the kitchen for lunch preparation, followed by polishing the silver ware.

"OUCH!"

That was the scream of the fake who cut his finger trying to peel a potato.

"You don't seem to be learning your mistake. Don't you know the meaning of progress. Barusu?"

"There's no helping it! I've never touched any cookingware other than chopsticks before, after all."

"Its very obvious. Look how skilled your brother is."

"Wow! Alter do you actually know how to cook."

"...Not really."

I have cooked for Elsa and Meili before but I did it rarely as they preferred to do it for me. A skill such as cooking is not a big deal. Besides they loved to cook for me so there was no problem.

"I'm just following nee-sama's instructions as told. Its pretty easy to follow."

"Eh~?"

"See, Barusu, your brother who works for free is doing his job better than you, who is getting paid."

"Don't rub it in! A-anyway even if we're doing this why do you have to help out with peeling as well?"

"We are entrusted with the areas in which we're skilled at. So we can make the use of our ability during work, cooking is not what I'm good at."

"I thought that Rem would still be better than Ram, even at this...Though if Rem were to do everything that she's better at, there'd be nothing left for Ram to do!"

What am I doing here? This plan is boring. I understand that this is the safest way to go but when did I ever consider my safety. Is it because Emilia's here? No, I probably just wanted to see this. I want to confirm.

I turn to see the three.

If I was able to get myself into his position, I'd be having this kind of life. Just what was it that made him so different from me. We're the same person yet somehow the same path we were walking took us in different directions. Its not fair. I hate him so much. Why wasn't it me? Why that thing?

It went quiet. Strange?

"You. Are. Staring. At. Barusu. Because. You. Are. Bothered. By. His. Hair. Right?"

What an ominous way to say it. Her words feel like poison, though the fake doesn't seem to sense it. It seems the blue one is too wary of it and I.

"...Yes... It is so. It should become more presentable just by combing and rearranging the hair ends a bit..."

As I begin to block out more of their pointless dialogue and begin to space out, I come to a realization.

The fake would die even without my interference.

* * *

"...ah...ah.."

Its no use. I can't sleep. Why can't I sleep!? Im supposed to be used to it! I know I no longer need the support of my 'tools.' Why?! Why!?

"Put out the fire.! The fire-"

"Somebody help, my son!-"

"Why is this happening!"

"I don't want to die!"

"Why, who-"

In the midst of all the chaos, stood one man in a black coat. He stood tall, and proudly. There was no remorse or guilt shown in his eyes as laughed like a maniac at the people's suffering.

"Know my name! I am the cause of this! I am the archbishop of pride, Natsuki Subaru! Engrave my name into your hearts! Direct all your anger towards me!"

The voices, the screams. Why am I hearing all this now? I don't care what I did! I was proud of it!

...Elsa...Meili...I need you...

As he said the names of his 'tools.' A memory shined brightly in his head. It was not hope. Hope had left him a long time ago. It was instead peace. The thing he was denied of.

The memory showed him and his 'tools' resting. His butcher happily hugging him on his left side. And. His demon beast user little sister doing the same on his right side.


	5. Familiar Occurrence

I've lived here for 4 days and nothing has happened. More specifically, my act is a problem. Because of the act, I can't find a way to get anything started. Yes its the act, I am in no way hesitant.

What's worse is the fact that in these past 4 days, its gotten closer to everyone in this mansion. The heavy air has disappeared, they are now welcoming him. They like the damn thing. The blue one more than lost her initial hatred for it. The pink one enjoys insulting it. The clown, well I am uncertain of him. However, their feelings toward it is something like care at the least.

Emilia...

She and the thing are currently having a grand old time outside. Its so frustrating to look at. They have bond. It is stronger than what I had accomplished for her. I'm just exactly what she named me. I'm just Subaru 2 for her. Even though that thing is the fake and im the real one. Currently, I am Subaru 2.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day when I stop my shit act. I'm tired of feeling this disgusting feeling. Though, for now, I have to get rid of the jealousy in my heart. I'll take a stroll around the insides of the mansion. After all, its hard to sleep.

Oh. A slightly opened door. I also hear some voices coming through it. Don't mind if I eavesdrop a little.

"What are the chances of them being spies?"

The clown?

"While I cannot rule that out yet, I think the probability of that is very low."

The pink one as well?

Oh how wonderful. I heard some useful information. How unfortunate for them that of everyone I had heard it. It seems that was the reason of their wariness. And. If they were right to be wary, they'd have killed me and it.

* * *

"I heard some very good details. Can't wait for tomorrow.~"

"Alter-kun?"

Geh! The blue one!?

"O-oh still as hardworking as ever huh."

"Yes. However what are you doing up so late."

"Well I just couldn't sleep. So I decided to take a stroll around the mansion to tire myself out."

"I see."

Those eyes. She looks as if she is staring at scum. She had opened up to the fake but refuses to do so with me. In all our conversations there were many things I noticed. She stands far away from me but not too far as to look normal. She looks ready to defend against something despite standing formally for a maid. She also avoids breathing through her nose and uses her mouth more often.

"S-so you're fixing my brother's hair tomorrow, correct?"

"Yes. Tomorrow night. It was a promise."

That seemed to lighten the atmosphere. Also it feels like she's shining. She let that thing into her bubble, even if it wasn't a lot. It looks as though she sees it as a friend. Why not me though? Alright, its time I see what I theorized about her to be true. If it is, then ill exploit it.

"Sorry."

"Eh? For what?"

Took the bait.

"I'm sorry I'm not Subaru. You'd rather be talking to him wouldn't you."

"A-"

"You don't need to respond. Its obvious enough to tell. You hate me, correct?"

She was silent.

"You don't need to feel bad, I'm used to it. You know ill be a little truthful, I didn't really lose all of my memories."

She's a twin, I'm a twin. She's the younger one and I'm the younger one.

"I can remember very clearly. Whatever he did, he was always praised. Despite how he is now, he was better than me at everything before. I was always in his shadow and before I knew it, my parents forgot I existed. They always called me by his name and I accepted it, I mean if it meant that they were aware that I was alive then I didn't care. I was in fact Subaru 2."

I showed her a sad expression.

"What's worse is that, he'd always try to help prove that I existed. He tried to help. But I hated that. It felt like a slap in the face knowing that he was the only reason our parents had to care for me, lil old Subaru 2. Before I knew it I had started to hate him. Then when we grew older, and that incident happened. When he saved me he said 'the older one has to protect his beloved younger brother.' Guess what I did. I smiled at his demise. I regret that moment so much. I hate myself everyday for it. What a petty person I am, aren't I?"

She grabbed my hand as she said.

"You're not petty. I can understand what you went through."

Looks like my theory about her doing something awful to her older sister was correct. 'I'm not alone, someone has gone through the same thing I have. I am no longer alone,' is what I can predict she is thinking.

I take my hand from her.

"I don't need you to be considerate, but thanks anyway. I mean even here, I can't beat him."

"But you do his job better than him. In my opinion you are more useful than he is."

"Haha. Think about it. Despite me and him having the same haircut, you've said nothing about my hair. I can feel it. Im being wiped from existence again. No matter where I go, ill always be Subaru 2."

As she was about to say something, I walk away and begin the journey to my room.

"(Yawn.) Boy am I tired. I gotta go to sleep to start working at 100% tomorrow."

"Um!"

I turn around acting surprised. Her cheeks look red and she is awkwardly fidgeting.

"If you would like I can fix your hair tomorrow!"

"Eh? You don't have to. I was just using the haircut as an example of the inevitable."

"No! Your hair is just too unsophisticated. At the very least it is a fail for a servant. It should be more presentable and-"

She seemed to realize that she was showing a little too much desperation. She cut herself off and looked embarrassed for doing something seemingly uncharacteristic of her.

"I see. Then ill look forward to it. Tomorrow, that is."

What a stupid promise. Its not like it is going to get fulfilled. My plan won't allow it.

"Y-yes!"

The human mind is simple when it is a little broken. Or more specifically an Oni's mind. She found someone who has went through something similar. She won't let it go away, because now she feels that she is no longer alone in that feeling of regret. Nonetheless I can say this.

Hostility removed. Friendship captured.

* * *

I was awoken by a soft knock on my door. It was soft but sounded so loud. I got off my bed and went to open it. Again I did not have a good sleep. Though my mood instantly bettered as I saw who was at the door I opened.

"Emilia-san!?"

She looked gloomy, her expression reminds me of that time. I feel that she is in a state where she wants to weep but is standing strong for someone.

"Alter...Please just come with me. You need to know about this."

She takes my hand and starts to take me somewhere. Ah, I'm holding her hand. This is the best morning in my life. I am never ever going to wash it. Though, why is she in a hurry. What does she want me to see.

"Emilia-san, not that I mind but I would like to know where you are taking me."

She stayed silent and kept walking.

"Why do you look so sad? If there's anyway I can help then, please by any means tell me."

She refused to talk. It felt as if she didn't feel like she was allowed to yet. I looked at her and analyzed her thoroughly. She was well dressed and it looked as if she was ready to go out. Now that I think about it, she had plans with the fake.

...Fake?...

I look around and realize where we are going. It is the path to that fake.

"D-did something happen?"

I felt Emilia's hand tighten. It was as if she was trying to comfort me before I understood what was going on.

When his room is in sight, I see all of the residents of the manor. It is unusually quiet despite everyone being together. The air is in the atmosphere feels like its choking me.

Everything feels to have slowed down. It feels easy to look and read everyone's expression. The clown seems to be frustrated, possibly related to his book. The red one has the same look as always, but the air she's giving out is one of anger mixed with sadness. The blue one looks at me, she goes downcast. She also is sorrowful but is also a bit angry. Though what I feel coming off her the most is, sympathy.

When we reach the door she finally releases my hand. Without her telling me, I know and understand she wants me to enter. Next to the bed is the drilled loli. She doesn't let me look at her face as she leaves but not before explaining to me.

"The primary cause of death was weakness...It looks as though he was cursed, the curse seemed to have slowly shut down his organs to have his body stop operating, I suppose."

I look at the corpse. Its almost as pale as chalk. There was no pulse. There was no heart beating. The sounds of someone breathing are completely gone. It was undoubtly dead.

Ah..Finally...

Its gone. Its gone. Finally.

I look at its hand and pick it up. It covered by many bandages, most coming from its own mishaps in the kitchen. Then there were two holes on his hand. He was bitten. Ah, was it you Meili? Even now you will still help me. As expected of my wonderful 'tool.'

"A...Alter..."

It was Emilia, she was trying to choke something out. She wants to comfort me even though I have no need to be comforted.

I place my hand over my mouth. This is bad. Oh, this is bad. I can hardly suppress my laughter. What a pitiful way to die! My god, its so hilarious. The only complaints I have are the fact that I didn't get to see it happen and that he died peacefully. I mean, wipe that smile off your face, its making it even harder to look at your pitiful corpse. I guess this proves that I am indeed the superior one. Don't worry, nobody is going to miss you. I can easily reclaim the space you had stole from me. Its mine now.

I pick up his corpse.

"...He shouldn't lie in bed anymore...He deserves a proper burial."

"Yes. Yes, of course."

Only Emilia responded.

Once you're buried ill dig you back up, cut you into bits and pieces and then burn you while you're falling down a mountain.

As I exit the room and walk down the hall, they follow. Perfect. This is a perfect outcome.

I stop abruptly. What? Why did I stop? I could feel some sort of sensation coursing through my entire body.

"Alter? Why did you stop?"

Emilia.

She looks worried I have to help stop that feeling for her.

"Its nothi-"

I feel a burning sensation around my entire body.

Agh! What is this!?

I lose all strength in both my legs and arms. I fall face first on the ground on top of the corpse.

"Alter!?"

All of the residents say my name except the loli. I think I could hear the blue- no Rem's voice yelled the loudest. Eh? What's happening?

Everything feels empty. I only see pitch black. I can feel that people are calling to me, talking to me, but I can't hear anything. There is only one thing I can feel. Pain.

Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain-

Ah, I think I was turned over. But was I really. Oh, I see a- an unseen hand!?

Multiple unseen hands are holding me in place. They are crushing me with just their grip. I am used to them but why are they here!? There is one that has yet to grip anything. The hand strokes my face and pats my head seemingly lovingly. It then enters my chest.

I feel it squeeze my heart once.

Ahh!

Then a second time.

Aggggggh!

And then a third and final time.

It squeezed and my flimsy little heart...

Exploded.

* * *

"..."

I turn to my left then to my right.

"...-?"

I awoke. I was not in my room, or laying in bed. I was in the carriage I had stolen to travel to Emilia's residence. I looked around and tested all my senses to see if they worked. What was that? What was happening to me?

"I died?"


	6. Through the Other's Eyes

Its morning!

Today's the day of the date with Emilia-tan!

"Yes! Natsuki Subaru, welcomes the start of a new day!"

Ah, Rem and Ram are here!

"Wait! You guys were here! Its embarrassing! Totally embarrassing! Greet me or something! Waah!"

Eh? They didn't give me a reaction. They're not showing me an expression either.

"No, wait... You all, that reaction's seriously hateful... Or rather a lack of one."

Weird...

"When you see someone's delicate moments, shouldn't you be a bit more... You know!? Or rather could you abuse me, like you always do, at least!"

"Nee-sama, Nee-sama, I've used a considerably intimate greeting without thinking."

"Rem, Rem, I've used an overly familiar greeting without thinking."

Certainly that's similar to the way they normally are, but something is weird.

"That seems a little weird! Or was that a joke?"

The sense of uneasiness coming from them...

"Nee-sama, Nee-sama, it seems like he's a bit confused, our guest."

"Rem, Rem, for some reason, he seems to be going insane, our guest."

Guest, you say...

Both of them.

Haha.

"Its a joke. Unintentional. Yeah."

DON'T LOOK AT ME WITH EYES LIKE THAT

That's right! My hand...!? The wounds are!

No way... No way! It can't...

I bite my lip in frustration and cover my face with the blanket.

Right now-

There's no way-

No way-

No way-

I can show anyone this expression.

Not to the person I love,

Nor to the people I grew to like,

Nor to the people that are kind of okay,

Nor to the people I definitely grew to love, while I'm being looked at like an outsider.

There's no way I can let my tears flow!

Why... Did I return!?

* * *

"Honoured guest, Honoured guest, you don't look so well, are you alright?"

"Honoured guest, honoured guest, you seem to be having a stomach ache, have you also wet your pants?

While four days is a short time, I had grown used to their voices.

At times annoying.

At times relieving.

Voices which I could depend on.

But now...

In the eyes of the two, there are no emotions at all.

All of the memories we have accumulated inte four days we have spent together, have disappeared. Like a mist, to somewhere.

The events which have occurred since I came to the mansion 4 days ago have been erased from existence.

RESPAWNING

In other words I-

"Honoured guest?"

"Ah, ah ha... Sorry for making you worry. Its just a bit of my stupidity from waking up."

I just have to calm down and- e-eh what? For some reason i- I can't see their faces.

"Honoured guest, you should not move so suddenly, you should rest a bit more."

"Honoured guest, it'll be dangerous if you move so abruptly, you still need to take it easy and rest."

She reaches towards me. Was it Ram or maybe Rem, I- I can't seem to tell. Wait.. Wait... No!

I don't let her touch me and desperately get away from her touch, hitting the door.

"My bad."

I rush out of the room.

"For the moment, that's impossible."

Running...

What am I running from?

Right now it doesn't matter, the one thing I absolutely can't do is to continue and remain there in this state.

That's right, that room. I enter a random door and I find it. That library.

"Hah..hah.."

"To come in here without even knocking is quite rude of you. I wonder how you managed to breach the 'Gate of Crossing.' Both earlier and now."

"Sorry. Even if for just a short while, could you leave me be. Please."

I have no choice but to face reality.

What is my name? Where am I? Who are the twins from earlier? What is the name and nature of the maiden in front of my eyes? This mysterious room?

The 4 days I spent in this mansion. The promises we made. Tomorrow, with whom, I was supposed to go?

"That's right... Emilia."

The promise I made with Emilia.

"You said I breached the 'Gate of Crossing,' both earlier and now, right? Beatrice."

"Addressing me without an honorific, I suppose? Offhand, I'd say it was probably 3 to 4 hours ago. I was merely making fun of you since you seemed so insensitive."

3 to 4 hours, eh?

"Where I am in this moment... Is the second time I woke up at this mansion... In other words, from five days ahead, I returned 4 days back in time...? Frankly, those days I spent at the Rosewall mansion had been extremely peaceful with no major incidents."

"What are you muttering about, I suppose?"

To suddenly come back in time to now, considering the conditions for its trigger so far, the h of my return has to be that...

I died.

"And if it indeed is the case that I died, why did I die? Up until I fell asleep, everything was normal. Even after I fell asleep there was no indication at all that I was going to die. If I died while sleeping, without knowing I was going to die, could it have been that I was gassed or poisoned to death...? In other words, assassinated? My body doesn't the cause of death..."

"To think of life and death using human terms using human terms is meaningless and boring. All you will get out of it in the end of it are reckless remarks, lies, and such. This topic is not worth discussing."

A-heh. It seems all she heard was me rambling about death. Though, that's true.

"You're going, I suppose?"

I stand and face the door.

"Yeah. But there's something I want to say to you first. Thank you for your help."

"Its not like I did anything. Hurry up and leave, I suppose. I have to move and restore the 'Gate'."

While she treats me as irrelevant noise and is not gentle at all. Just her knowledge of who I am makes me immeasurably grateful...

* * *

There she is. In the same place as last time.

"As expected, she's sparkling."

She took notice of me.

"Subaru!"

Only... I remember. That of which Emilia does not. That unfillable chasm of four days' worth of experiences.

"Ill take it all back. The next four times the sun rises. I just have to face them again. Dont underestimate the implacable depths of love, which I fell into, because of her smile that night. I don't know whose interference caused this but ill take all of it back in one go and make you regret causing all of this."

* * *

The time of day was finally night. I'm tired and I'm taking a bath.

"Still I seemed to have screwed up."

I was more or less able to retrace the overall flow of events and I became an apprentice servant in the same way as before but there's a huge problem.

One of the residents, someone I grew to care for, is gone. He was not at dining room when I got there. Why?

"Alter."

Did the stress of almost dying to Elsa again cause me to imagine him. But others could also interact with him. Did I imagine that too? I dont understand.

"I'm even more tired than before, Alter's help was super great."

While the type of chores are the same as before, both the quality and quantity of work I have been entrusted with has increased. If the contents are this different, even on the first day, the from the second day on, it will be increasingly difficult to reconcile the two timelines... If I even overlook small differences, eventually it might become a large problem. Isn't that what's known as the Butterfly Effect? It gets even more confusing since I don't understand why I returned this time and there's also Alter, who is missing for no reason. If things were to change this much, I wonder if it might be impossible to lead events so they occur in the way that I remember...?

"Yo"

Rose- geh. Ew.

"Shall we use the bath together? Subaru-kun?"

"I refuse."

* * *

In the end I ended up bathing with him. However, I learned that I have magic affinity with 'Yin.' Though right now there is something more important at the moment. Ram is coming to my room.

"Huh!? Why am I so motivated to making the bed!?"

Its not because I'm expecting anything to happen. Really!?

"There's no deeper meaning... There's no deeper meaning... Clear my mind... I am devoted to Emilia-tan... One Emilia-tan. Two Emilia-tan. Three Emilia-tan.

"THIS IS HEAVEN!"

"You're noisy Barrusu; since its already nighttime, please be quiet."

No, she heard me!

"What are you spacing out for, Barrusu? Come here. Ill teach you how to read and write."

"Eh? Its the first time I heard about this."

A few seconds later everything was prepared and on the notepad I write my japanese characters. To reminisce of that of which I will no longer return to.

"That being said, we don't have the time to play around, drawing pictures like that. We have an early start tomorrow and our time is limited. Im sleepy too."

Pictures huh? That's my home language though.

"At last, while intermittent, your true feelings are coming through. Doesn't this bother you at all, eh, senpai?"

She yawns.

"I believe even my honest side has merit. From now on, either my sister or I will be accompanying your studies every night. If you're unable to read or write, you can't be entrusted with shopping, and you won't be able to read any important notes. Lets start with getting you to the level whereby you are able to read some simple fairytales meant for children."

That's strange.

"...Why are you treating me so kindly?"

She sits on my bed without any embarrasment or hesitation.

"It was decided. I...no, for the sake of skiving."

Why does she look so proud of saying that!?

"Rephrasing it like that is as good as good as not rephrasing it at all! You're really firm with your thoughts..."

"Naturally, as of what you are able to do, your workload increases whereas my workload decreases. As my workload decreases, Rem's workload inevitably decreases, its nothing but good things."

"But in exchange I end up being saddled with a super large amount of work!?"

She tilts her head as if confused and gives off a vibe that says, is there a problem with that?

A few hours later, I yawn from drowsiness. Now that I think about it, this is the first time I spent so much time with Ram. Usually she'd rather be with Alter. ...Alter. I can't help but worry about him. Was he really part of my imagination?

-"Geez~ Ram you don't have to follow me. I know what I'm doing."

"No, someone as incompetent as you cannot be trusted to complete such tasks."

"But, I do things much better than you."

"I must make sure you are not slacking off. You offered to work for free so, be prepared to be worked to the bone."

"Is that so? Yay... I'm so happy... Hah, this is gonna be a long day. Wait a minute? If you're gonna be following me the whole day, then why do you look so happy?"-

No, Alter was not part of my imagination. There's no way he was. He got that Ram to smile so easily, from what I saw it looked like she was attached to him. That settles it, I need to find him, this mansion just wouldn't feel the same without every resident being present. Ah, I feel my eyes getting heavy.

Unacceptable, unacceptable. I cant fall asleep earlier that Ram, who's here with me. I know, ill start a conversation to keep me awake. But, even though she said this is for the sake of skiving, even so I'm still happy. To be able to work hard at a job, honestly I wouldn't have expected to like it this much.

"While from here on, I might cause you all some inconveniences, I would like to become your strength as fast as possible. Please look after me."

I turn to face her to find, SHE'S SLEEPING ON MY BED!? What's more is that she's completely defenseless. I said all that to not be heard. Now that I think about it, how did Alter deal with this type of girl. Alter... I'm sorry for not helping you with this person.

* * *

And so, one day at a time, the days pass. For the second time at the Rosewall mansion. The fourth day. Abram Village. I've learned that Alter was here from one of the kids who asked me why haven't I left yet. Turns out he's no longer in this area, if only I was able to come here a day earlier, I could've reunited with him. But, he's alive and real, that's all that matters to me now. I know we'll cross paths again eventually. Right now, I'm having a pleasant conversation with Rem about Ram as we head back to the mansion with some groceries.

"-her ability to fall asleep while teaching me does weaken my motivation considerably, however, I'd like to forgive her for that."

"She probably did that on purpose to use reverse-psychology to motivate you."

"What's with this absolute adoration for your sister! This isn't normal! Its seriously as if you're possessed by a demon!"

"Possessed...by a demon?"

"Its the demonic version of 'being possessed by a god'. Demon possession, sounds good doesn't it?"

"Demons...do you like them or something."

"I probably like them more than gods. After all, gods fundamentally do nothing. Wheras with demons, when we speak of our views of the future, they will laugh together at you, right?"

Rem smiled. I think this is the first time I've seen her smile and it looks so...pure.

"...You're smile matches the beauty of a million watt cityscape at night!"

She realized she was smiling and ended it.

"Ill report you to Emilia-sama."

"I'm not hitting on you or anything all right!?"

"What's with your hand?"

"Hmm?"

Ah, i forgot about that.

"Ah, the dog that the children brought along bit me really hard."

"An injury, shall I heal it?"

"Eh, you have healing magic too?"

"While I am able to use simple spells, it is enough for simple treatments like this. Or would you prefer Emilia-sama to do it?"

"Hmm, that's a very attractive proposition."

This scar is an indicator. Based on its presence I can determine if I 'respawned' or not.

"However, ill refrain from both because its a badge of honor."

"Since your saying a mans scars are their medals, that's fine. Even though its one you got due to incompetence on the battlefield."

"Even if that's partially true can you not make fun of me with a straight face!"

* * *

This world, for the second time, has now reached the fourth day. Whether or not I can see tomorrow's dawn safely will be my battle. But before that, it depends on whether or not I can arrange that date with Emilia tonight. However, I'm about to face my greatest danger ever since coming here.

"And so, if neither Ram or Rem are going to show up tonight. Ill be responsible for substituting for them to supervise your studies."

Another unforeseeable situation again!? Well its not that I'm not happy, its just surprising and very lucky.

And so, as she watched over me I studied extra hard. I mean I have to show my good points while she's here. Before I knew it an hour had passed and I have just suggested that we go out on a date.

"What do you mean by 'date'?"

"Heh, when a man and woman go out together, that's a date."

"In that case, didnt you go on a date Rem today."

"Noooo, an unforseen riposte! Just to be clear, that doesnt count, alright!"

When she asks where we are going, I reply that we would go to the village nearby. Just as say village she looks troubled, like she's had recalled a bad experience. It feels as though she might decline. However, I bring up the cute dog they have and push her to think that she has to see him. After I keep talking about the wonderful peaceful village she gives in and accepts my invitation.

"Seriously, you'll go with me!?"

"If doing this will motivate you from today onwards, ill accompany you. After all, we cant have you wandering around anywhere and everywhere."

I flinch as I hear her say those words. I then realize a cruel mistake I have made. After hearing those words, wandering, anywhere and everywhere. He's searching for me. There's no way that we will cross paths in such a short amount of time, he will, undoubtedly, wander everywhere and anywhere for me. I made a mistake a bad mistake, a mistake I could've prevented from happening. He couldn't have gone too far in a day and despite knowing that I ignored him.

"What's wrong, Subaru? You're making a strange face."

Ah... I'm a bad brother.

"I-uh.. was entranced by how pretty the stars look tonight."

"The stars?"

She looks out the window.

"Yes. The stars are indeed beautiful tonight. I'm sure the weather will be good tomorrow."

"Yeah, and I'm sure it'll be an unforgettable day."

I hear a light giggle.

"You're doing that again."

I won't let go on a pointless journey for much longer. You shouldn't have gone too far, ill come find you soon. So for now, continue wandering, your big brother has to protect our home first.

"What's the matter, Emilia-tan?"

"Just now- again, you... No, its nothing."

"If a girl interrupts herself like that, a mans hear will become uneasy, ya know?"

She's walking towards the door.

"Its nothing~. So~, Subaru, work properly from tomorrow onwards. The reward will only be given to the one who works hard."

She exits my room after waving me goodbye.

"Hey, hey. Hey, hey, seriously. I am super motivated now. Seriously."

I'm about to attempt this night once again. To overcome the fourth night, for the sake of greeting the promised fifth dawn. To the sake of ending his search. To protect our home. Six hours remain until morning.

"Well, its time to head to battle, Destiny-sama."


	7. A Night that will be Forgotten

The fourth day, the day where I died. I may not know what caused it I did die. And although I don't know what will happen to me this night.

I will live, and see the sun rise.

"These four days went by pretty well. And, even though, there are some huge differences compared to the first time, my relationships with Rem and Ram are still good. Everything with Emilia went great and I managed to get the date with her. So far everything is good. There are some things I regret. One, being unable to meet Beatrice tonight. She played a significant role in helping come to terms with the reality of respawning. I should've at least offered my thanks to her."

The bigger one I regret is something that my guilt is eating away at. Even after thinking about it for long time, I still don't understand. Why were things so different from when I entered the dining room? What did I do to not see him in there? It just doesn't make any sense.

Everything hinges on tomorrow- if I can make it to dawn unharmed. Ill be able to do all the things I want to and so much more.

I'll take back those ordinary days.

* * *

Zzz... Ah!

"Crap, if I fall asleep now it'll be a huge mistake. Ugh, its so cold... I guess my laxness is starting to show, my body feels completely frozen."

I just have to keep myself warm...somehow...

Eh... That's strange... This coldness... ISNT FADING!?

"This is bad. Don't tell me. Is this..."

I might not know what's happening. But, I do understand that, for sure, my life is in danger. If I feel this awful, then what about the others!? I have to get to them before my strength completely vanishes.

"...huff...huff..huff..."

I could barely open my rooms door. I can barely stand on my feet as I use the wall to support me. I know I do not have much time left but I have to reach her.

"...oi...oooooi...huff...huff..."

I reach my limit and am unable to stand. So I crawl to the stairs. She's on the second floor. No matter what, I have to see. With my limited movement I force my body to climb up the stairs.

"...gah..."

Climbing each and every step hurts. It feels like my arms will snap any second.

Emilia.

Emilia!

TO WHERE EMILIA IS, I MUST GO, NO MATTER WHAT!

I, however, can not do that. Ive reached the very tip of my limit, as I reach the top of the stairs.

"..hu..ff...hu..."

I make a last futile attempt to stand on my feet, only to begin to fall back down.

Emilia...please...just please- be safe-

"-Eh?"

I dont fall face first to the ground, I am standing straight for about a moment. Then I see the ceiling, and then the ground and repeat. I think I may have hit the ground a couple times but I cant feel it... The spinning stops and I am left on the ground without any knowledge of what had happened.

"What...is-"

I feel my body tingle... I look to where I feel it and begin to understand...

"Ah..."

The entire left side of my torso is missing. All I am left to see are my intestines, as they continue to slide outside my body, and my broken ribs, that look to be crumbling to bits and pieces as I think. Blood...there was so much blood...is it really all mine...

Then as I finished processing everything, I began to feel the pain.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGAAAGGAHAGAHHAGAGAHHAHAHAGAHAGAGHAGAHAHAGHAHAHAGAGAGAAGAGAGHAHAAAAAGGGAHHAHAHAAGAGAAAAGGAHAGAGAAAGGH-!"

Its unbearable. As I scream the pain gets worse. Its as though I am being stabbed over and over and over and over as I am continuously scalded as the stab happens. It burns but it feels so much worse than a simple burn.

"-Aaagh-!"

I notice my severed arm, it is pale and covered in my red blood...how is it still intact? Ah.. That's not important, its not at all, my one lung that survived is giving out from my voice screaming louder than I ever thought I could. But even if I can't express this pain through screeching, it hurts, it hurts badly. And I know I can't end or relieve the pain, it only gets worse and worse...

Ah.

...I WANT TO DIE...

As my wish is about to be granted I am left with a hint.

"The...sound of...chains..."

My last feeling was a slight pain of something hitting my head and then...

It went pitch black and all my pain went away.

* * *

I am woken up by a horrendous sounding scream. It sounded so awful.

"Puck!?"

"Calm down- ah."

Those screams seemed to have stopped, however I wished it hadn't as much as it pains me to admit that. In its place I had to hear the impact of an object onto to a living being. The sound was very grotesque, and judging from their screech of seemingly unyielding pain, it has unfortunately passed away.

...If I had woken up sooner, could I have saved it...

"...Lia..."

I can't just sit in my room and do nothing. I have to investigate its death, it is part of my responsibility.

* * *

The silver haired half elf had hurriedly exited her room. She deeply wished that the current events that were happening was all just a very bad nightmare. As she continued to stare at the horrid disfigurement of the one she considered her first and only friend. To her utter dismay, this had happened to him. Her thoughts only centered on him for the moment.

Why... Why? Him, of all things, why? It just isn't fair. Its too cruel...

This half-elf was not alone, no not at all. There were three other people also there. A clown, and two twin sisters. It was very obvious that she was furious with them.

"Rem..."

"Y-yes?"

She was told the gist of what had happened and learned that it was the younger twin that dealt the finishing blow.

"Why did you do it?"

It was a simple question but it was difficult to answer, especially for the twin.

"I-"

Just as she was about to answer, a door was was violently kicked open. There they were all surprised to see a man, who should not be. His eyes were baggy, and he looked as if he would fall asleep any second. He did not come alone, by his side, hugging his arm affectionately, was a little girl with braided blue hair.

"...Subaru?"

The man was supposed to be dead. His corpse was still on the floor leaking out so much blood. Yet, there he is. He's alive. Though Emilia didn't care why, she was extremely relived and happy that her friend was alive.

"Subaru, you're alive! Why? How is this possible? No, I don't really care about that! What matters is that you're alive, you're really alive."

She wasted no time and immediately rushed in to hug her precious friend.

The other people in the room were very confused, however, they were more cautious than ever. Especially the blue murderer who looked to be smelling something rotten. Then the man yawned, and he casually opened his mouth.

"...Yeah, Natsuki Subaru is alive and well, a bit sleepy."

* * *

Woah! What a lucky day, or should it be night. Well, doesn't really matter. What matters is, Emilia is hugging me! I also get the great view of the fake looking totally obliterated. This is perfect indeed.

"Meilli, go prepare the carriage. We'll be going very soon."

"Yes! With pleasure, onii-chan!"

As I tell my 'tool' what I need, she immediately does it. Ah, it feels so much better with at least one of them by my side.

"Suba-mmph!"

I know what you want Emilia but now's not the time. I quiet her by placing my finger on her mouth. I'm here to confirm something, that is all. If my theory is correct then, me doing anything in this place is completely futile.

"Shh... Emilia, ill answer everything soon."

I give a peaceful smile. In truth, if what I theorized is correct, I won't be able to tell her anything. However, telling lies is never a bad thing.

"O-okay, but you look really tired. If there's anything you need then please tell me so I can help you."

"Understood, Emilia-tan."

Kyaaa, I used -tan. I used -tan. Its feels so extremely satisfying to be able to use -tan.

"Who are you!?"

Hmm? Oh its just a tiny bug in my path.

"Isn't it obvious just from looking, I'm Natsuki Subaru. Geez, its like you don't recognize me, umm, you?"

Oh, it looks like it took me 4 days to completely forget all these pests' names. Lets see here, the one who yelled at me is the blue version of the red one in back of her, who is standing next to some clown. I can't seem to recall their names...

Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter anyways. They're all just bugs anyways, except Emilia-tan of course.

Wait, that reminds me! The fakers corpse, I need to check it quickly. I could be on time limit after all.

"Excuse me, I actually have important things I need to do so ill just see myself to that corpse over there."

As I start walking towards them they go into what can be obviously seen as their fighting stance. The blue one is wielding a morningstar, while the red one wields a wand as she stands in front of the clown. The clown has nothing, in fact he is not yet hostile of me. The look in his eyes tells me that he is dumbfounded and is trying to process the current event happening. Guess that gospel of his is not working as intended.

"Oi, oi. I'm just checking a body here. No need to be so hostile, I'm not sure what y'all think but I can tell you that I'm definitely not Reinhardt level strong. You guys can probably decimate me without even using weapons or magic, im only human after all."

I sure am overestimated aren't I? Oh well, that doesn't matter. Now, onto my long awaited day! This fake's death!

I kneel down and to get a better look.

"Boy, oh boy! Whoever did this sure didn't hold back at all."

Ahaha! This is amazing, far better than I thought would happen! Half of its head is completely smashed, so its surviving eye is hanging out as all of it is smothered by all the blood that is dripping out. Its torso was ripped clean off and its intestines were outside of where it was intended to be. How I wish Elsa was here to see this, she'd surely be ecstatic. Seeing all this red from my most hated thing just fills me with so much joy. I touch the blood, I feel it and pet it. Blood is the greatest thing to ever exist.

"Subaru, what are you doing?"

I hear my most loved person. I scoop up a handful of the blood. I sniff, it smells fresh, just the way I love it. Without any hesitation I begin to drink it. It tastes like a well created, 5 star meal. Though, as I thought, we really are the same person. This tasty blood is mine, its the same taste as my own.

I stand up, my clothes have been stained red. I'm a very messy drinker, I suppose. It turn around. They look disgusted, was what I did really that abnormal. Let a man taste some blood, don't judge me if you haven't tried yourself. Though I can test something now.

I stomp repeatedly on the corpses head until there is nothing but brain and bone pieces scattered on the floor.

Yup I can mess with the corpse, that's wonderful information.

"Now then. Emilia-tan who killed it?"

The culprit is obvious but if I have a chance to hear her voice ill gladly take the chance.

"Hmm? I need to know sometime soon. Emilia-tan?"

"Eh...well..."

She looks uncomfortable. Why? Did one of the three hostiles do something when I wasn't looking.

"Emilia-tan?"

I walk towards her with a sweet smile. The smile I always practice. As I got close, she backed away. Why? She seemed frightened. Why?

I see a floating cat who shot something I couldn't even see. I feel tingling sensation on my cheek. I see, he's hostile.

"You should just stay standing there, get any closer to my daughter and ill blast your head clean off."

"Puck, wait, I was just a little startled you don't have to-"

"But-"

"Its alright, we can't just judge him without knowing anything. I trust Subaru. I'm sure he'll explain it later."

"I- I understand. But ill end him immediately if I sense any danger coming."

Emilia-tan! Thank you!

"I'm sorry, I forgot about this blood all over me. I'm so sorry if I scared you."

"Its okay."

Safe from the cat for now...

"Hey, was it her?"

I point at the blue one. She hesitantly answers.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. It was Rem, who did it..."

"I see, so it was you."

Ah. I'm sure I would've fallen madly in love with you if I didn't already have Emilia. You've presented such a wonderful art piece of the corpse to me after all.

I walk towards her. As I got closer I lift my hand.

I was going to award her with something but I, at the moment, had felt something pull at my hearstring. I look at the corpse, then at Rem. I repeat that 2~3 times.

I felt an emotion I thought was lost to me. It wasn't guilt, nor was it sadness.

I felt angry, so very frustrated. It just felt so unfair. No, I do not care about the fake one bit. It was just a simple thought that caused such feelings.

That could've been me, she killed. Someone who worked so naively for the people he grew to love, was repayed for his devotion with a brutal death. If I were on the path this fake managed to walk, Rem, undoubtedly would've killed me in the same exact way.

I immediately throw away that thought however, it would only be a hindrance to keep on thinking about things like that. I was going to pet her as a reward for killing it.

"DONT COME NEAR ME!"

She swung her weapon at me, luckily I don't think she was trying to kill me.

"I want nothing to do with someone who stinks even worse of the Witch's Scent!"

I see... You're one of those special ones.

"Rem, Ram. Stand down."

Oh. The clown is finally done analyzing.

"How~ about we just forget what is happening and continue as we've done before."

What is this idiot saying, that's impossible at this point. Emilia has trust problems with you people. Those twins also look very blood thirsty. Not to mention, my theory has yet to be proven to be true or false.

"Too bad. I'm no longer gonna stay here, I quit being a butler. I'd rather end myself than work for a clown that treats his gospel as his god."

It seems I pushed something.

"How much do you know?"

"Nothing much, just some useless info of the Witch of Greed, Echidna. Oh wait, isn't she the one that created your beloved gospel?"

Oh, he's glaring some daggers at me.

"Onii-chan, the carriage is ready!"

"Good job, Meilli!"

I pet her head much to her delight.

"Unfortunately, I must take my leave here. I don't want to leak too much of what I know."

I do have 4~6 months of future information stored in my memory after all.

"Lets go Emilia-tan."

"Eh?"

I take her hand with much pleasure.

"Where~ do you think you're taking our candidate?"

"As if ill let her stay in such a bad environment. Besides even without me here, I sure as hell doubt she'd stay here with a bunch people who murder like its nothing."

Ah, such hypocrisy in my very own words.

"Ill make sure she wins the election without any of your assistance!"

I did it once before, I can do it again.

* * *

We're on the carriage that is taking us to Elsa's location. It is dark, I'm tired.

"Subaru, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just tired. I haven't slept in 4 days after all."

I made sure that I was unharmed these past 4 days by staying awake all those nights. I had even decided to leave the vicinity for a day. Yet nothing is happening, those things that I saw aren't here, so I guess my theory about my death is wrong.

"Onii-chan you should go to sleep, we have long way to go, I can drive for the rest of the way."

"Yeah, take over for me. I'm sorry about that. Ill go and sleep in the back."

Emilia follows me as I head over there.

"Are you sure you don't need any type of healing?"

"Yeah its fine, I'm just sleep-deprived is all. One quick nap should fix it."

"If you say its nothing too serious then I guess it really is nothing."

I'm honestly surprised that Emilia came with me. It makes me extremely happy that's she's here though. I hope she stays by my side forever.

"Arf!"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about lil pup."

I scratch under it chin.

"What a really cute little puppy."

She starts to pet the puppy. Ah how heartwarming to see. It seems like the lil pup might get attached to her. Don't you steal too many of my affection points away ya hear.

"Geez~ Calm down, it tickles if you lick me so much. Hehe~"

Ah. Cute.

"Sorry, Emilia-tan. Ill answer all your questions when I wake up..."

"Okay, I understand, so for now just rest. I'm sure you will explain everything. You must have worked very hard to be so tired."

I feel my eyelids getting heavy. My theory was wrong, but I'm glad its wrong because now she's by my side.

...SUBARU...

...Heh...haha...To think I...

...Oh, how I can only dream. There they are, unseen hands. Looks like my theory was indeed correct. I'm too tired, I feel as if I'm going to pass out any second now. I guess this time I won't feel any kind of pain. I look at my hands, they're stained red. I look at Emilia one last time, I wish I could keep on going on this path with her.

"I'm sorry..."

"Its fine. Im in no rush to hear an explanation. Just rest and get better, then you can explain everything."

Sorry, I won't make it to that tomorrow.

I've learned everything I needed to learn. My theory was also proven to be right, as well. I blink once.

Then once more, however they stay closed. They are closed but I'm not asleep yet. My theory, that was just now proven to be true is-

If that fake DIES, then I also DIE.

And so, my world goes pitch black and I feel myself go into a dark slumber.

* * *

My eyes open. It was if I had only blinked. I'm back at the carriage I had stolen. There was no sign of Meilli, or Emilia. I was alone. I looked at my hand to confirm, and yes, it was no longer covered in the deep crimson color of blood.

Looks like I died once again.

And again for the third time in this world, it is time for me to repeat those 4 days.


End file.
